Ways I've been failing lately
Here's an incomplete list of things I've been failing at lately:
Staying consistent with my meditation - I do a few days and then I get off track and avoid it for days
Working out consistently/healthily - I'm either going every day or not at all, and neither extreme is great.
Going to bed on time / getting up on time
Keeping my house tidy
Working on things in advance of deadlines, even though I know it lowers my anxiety to have things in progress ahead of time
Staying off social media/my phone when I'm supposed to be working
And here's a list of things I've been doing to try and help myself recenter:
Using my bullet journal to track tasks because my computer feels overwhelming sometimes
Using the Forest App and extension to stop myself from going on Twitter and my phone all the time
Setting appointments/scheduling things in the morning so I force myself to get out of bed
Reaching out to friends and accountability partners to tell them what I plan to do every day
Talking to my therapist about how frustrated I am and not avoiding appointments like I want to
Keeping a sign on my desk that says "you can always try again"
Taking deep breaths whenever I remember to
Drinking lots of water / trying to eat things my body feels good about
One of the most frustrating things about life is realizing that many things do not follow a straight path of progress. You can do really well with something for a while, and your brain thinks "Cool! Mastered that! Totally understand and get it! Will never have to do this again HOORAY!" only to get thrown off your game, and have to in fact do something again. I constantly "relearn" lessons about how important sleep is, how much my mind craves some stable routines and habits, and how hard it is to work when other things feel unstable. So as you start to evaluate where you are, and how you want to spend the next few months, remind yourself that failure isn't just part of the process, it IS the process.
We learn what doesn't work when we fail. Failure teaches us how NOT to do something, what the costs and benefits of a certain method are. Even if it stings (and GOSH does it sting sometimes!) failure moves us forward. And most importantly, every time we fail at something, big or small, it teaches us this important thing:
Failure isn't fatal.
Every time you try again, every time you restart your day after getting off track, every time you recommit to a habit or a goal, you show yourself that failure can be overcome. And that resilience, that willingness to keep going, the ability to give yourself another chance, that's what finishes degrees, and more importantly, that's what gives you a full life. It might not feel good (it NEVER feels good?!?!) but failure is a sign that we're trying, we're growing, we're believing that we can do this. We can do this.