6.2 a+ teacher, colleague, friend....c+ writer

you're a rock star teacher. you're everyone's favorite colleague. you show up in your community and you never miss a chance to help out. something has to give....is it your writing?

if you're checking a million things off a day and somehow, that pit in your stomach about your writing getting snoozed is only getting bigger, this episode is for you. 

• transcript

  📍  Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar. 
  
   This season is called Just at Me already, where I go through all of the different kinds of people that I run into and have been myself as a coach for academics. And we talk about how to shift that if you want to. I. 
  
  And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it
  
  
  
   Today we're talking about one of my most beloved avatars. I have been this, and maybe you have been this person too. You are an a plus colleague, teacher person, community member, family member, you're a plus at all of it, and you're a c plus writer, and by that I mean you are the most available, present, responsive person in all of these areas of your life. You show up, you do the things, you're on time, you help people.
  
  Except for your writing, which gets just enough to get by.  It's not that you're failing at it, you're just giving it just enough to kick the can down the road  ways you might know that you're this person is if you are constantly checking things off, you are present. You are making all of your commitments work.
  
  Your students love you, your family loves you, your community loves you, and you also have this sinking pit of dread all the time because you know there's something major that's not getting done.  Your. Pressing snooze on things like writing, research, that longer term project, publishing, all of these things that are self-directed and don't have the sort of immediacy and freshness and vitality that your more in-person work does. 
  
   If you are checking off the tasks that are due, if your grading's done on time, you are in the meetings, you're responsive, you're collegial, and your work is snoozed. I have three questions to help you unpack it a little bit.
  
  And maybe see if there are ways to move forward and bring that grade up just a little bit.
  
  Because after all, it's not about the grade.  It's about that pit of dread in your stomach and what we can do to lessen it so that you can take your best self to your most important projects.  Question one. What are the things that make tasks move up in urgency and priority on your to-do list?
  
  What are the things that you will set aside everything for.  Now, this isn't an accusatory question. This is simply a data collection question. Do you always set time aside for students? If a student emails you and needs help with a paper or needs support in extra office hours, if a colleague asks you to cover, if somebody asks you to, you know, help out with this conference or join this panel, or share your expertise, what are the things that always move up the list?
  
  For me, it's often things like, this is going to help another person. This is covering a need, this is paying forward. This is being part of a community, and like I said, this isn't accusatory. This is about noticing what triggers that instant priority switch in your brain.  Number two, how can you reinforce some of the habits, plans, and tools that you know work for your longer term projects? 
  
  For example, I am a person who, if you put me down in my chair in front of my computer and you give me 10 to 15 minutes to get my tantrum out, I almost always will start writing if that's what I'm meant to do.  I need uninterrupted time in order to get my writing done.
  
  I can do it in snack size bites, but if I have those blocks of time, I will do it however. It is hugely easy for me to schedule over my own blocks of time if something more pressing or urgent comes up. If I need to take somebody to the doctor, if I need to cover a class. And sometimes that's appropriate, and sometimes that's absolutely what you need to do.
  
  You're the boss of you, you know your own values, and I am in no way encouraging you to abandon those. But if you are always running over those blocks, then it might be worth it to see how you can reinforce them. For example, when I am really busy, I use something that I call the 24 hour request rule,  where if people ask me to volunteer my time, my services,  will just hold off on responding to the email for 24 hours because my first instinct, whenever I receive a request is to be like, yes, absolutely. Of course I can do that because it's true. Some of it is because I like being needed, and some of it is because I like being part of a community, but it often does mean that I go over my own boundaries.
  
  I give more than I mean to, and I don't have enough left in the time or energy tanks to do the more self-directed work. By instituting that 24 hour pause, it gives me a chance to let that initial rush of, there's a problem and I can fix it, or they invited me and I'm so special. Ego hit. It gives it a second for that to dissipate, and then I can truly evaluate.
  
  Okay. It's not that I can't do this, but is this the best use of my time and energy in this specific instance, 
  
   and the third question that I want you to dig into as you're thinking about how to shift some of that energy from the a Triple plus job that you're doing on campus into your writing is how can you support yourself when things are feeling uncomfortable?
  
  I mentioned a few minutes ago that when I sit down to write, I need about 10 to 15 minutes to get over my tantrum about how hard writing is. You can go through any of my group chats, especially in the last couple of weeks. And there I am being like, writing is stupid and hard and I don't wanna do it, and does anyone know what my writing is about? And if they could just tell me and also write it down, that would be great. I write it in my free writing sessions. I scribble it on my notebooks and my journals. I need to get some of that foot stamping.
  
  This is hard and uncomfortable energy out before I can keep going. And as soon as I scheduled that in and stopped trying to rush myself through it, I can settle myself down and write a little bit more effectively.  You might need to schedule in co-writing sessions or add in a little bit of community or visibility.
  
  You might wanna start a writing group or a writing or a work together at your campus or in your department. Add some accountability, add some visibility, add some external people. But if you know that there are things that are really uncomfortable for you, think about how to support that. Because often we're jumping to these other tasks, not just because they're quick, not just because they're helpful, but because they help us feel a little bit less.
  
  Not skilled at something. I don't feel confident in my writing skills a hundred percent of the time, but I feel very confident in my ability to show up to a meeting and be responsive and helpful and be in community. And I like feeling good at things more than I like feeling not so good at things. So of course my brain defaults to saying yes to opportunities that I know are gonna give me that hit of dopamine in connection and checking things off in momentum that I'm really craving. So if it's feeling a little uncomfortable, instead of thinking, how can I get more comfortable?  Because you might never, I've been writing as an academic for longer than I care to admit at this point, and it is still uncomfortable for me.
  
  So it's not about fixing the feeling, it's about supporting yourself so that that feeling can pass.  I love that you invest in your teaching. I love that you invest in your communities and no part of me is saying don't do those things. This is just a call to say, how can we shift some of that energy from the a triple plus parts of your work into the parts that might need a little bit more attention going forward?
  
  Thank you so much, and I will see you next week. 
  
   📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com.  Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show.  Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!