3.10 gentle accountability - body doubling
have you ever noticed that when you work in a library or a coffeeshop, or do chores with your housemates, that you get more done? that magic (if it isn't caffeine) is called body doubling. this week's episode is all about this gentler accountability tool, where you can practice it virtually and in person, and when it might not work for you!
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If you've ever wondered why you get so much more work done in a coffee shop, a library, or when you're working with friends. This is the episode for Are you.
📍 Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar.
And in season three, I'm demystifying some of the most important, but often invisible parts of grad school that learning about might just make your life a little bit easier. And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it
This week's episode is all about body doubling, which is a technique that you've probably tried. Even if you weren't aware that that's what it's called. Body doubling just means that you're doing some sort of work in the presence of another person. This can be like when you and a housemate or partners say, okay, I'll split up and you take the kitchen and I will clean up the bedroom. Or when you're working in a coffee shop and you're surrounded by people that are working. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are working together in a formal way. It's that your body is literally doubled or tripled or quadrupled, whatever the case may be by other bodies that are doing a similar sort of task. The reason that this is so effective is because it's a constant continual reminder that you're meant to be doing something. Meant to be staying on task without those reminders necessarily being verbal or some sort of other. External alarm or feature. This. Means that body doubling is a little bit more gentle. You look up, you remember you're in a coffee shop, you see other people working and almost on a subconscious level, you get back to work.
It's a little bit easier to focus. It's the difference between. I'm trying to keep yourself on task alone in a room and trying to keep yourself on task when other people are on task too. It's probably why a lot of people find exams to be really helpful because they're sitting in a room with a bunch of other people, also focused.
They'll feel different if they are staring out the window or surfing on their phone or getting up and walking around, it's a gentle nonverbal reminder that you're meant to be on task. This can be helpful for lots of people. I might even go as far as to say that it's helpful for most people. But it's especially helpful for people with ADHD or who are otherwise working with some executive function difficulties.
If you've never heard the term executive function before, it's basically the conductor in your brain. That gets all of the parts of you, your body, your nervous system, your thoughts, your conscious mind, all of it on track. It's kind of like a conductor of an orchestra getting everything there. And if that conductor is taking a break or is somehow interested in another. Task then it can feel really difficult to get all of the pieces of assistant moving that's executive function.
And if it's not working the way that it's supposed to. Then you're going to notice a big difference.
Now that you're on board with what body doubling actually is. Let's talk about some different ways that you might incorporate it into your day. During the pandemic or at least the first acute wave of the pandemic, lots and lots of people found it so difficult to work from home. And of course there were a thousand cultural and historical reasons why it was difficult to work at home, but a big one. Was that their spaces weren't set up and they had a real lack of body doubling. If you're used to studying exclusively in the library, and then all of a sudden, you're also supposed to be on your couch, trying to study while people in your house maybe are walking around or doing a thousand other things, it's going to be a lot more difficult to keep yourself on track.
So. During that first wave of the pandemic, there were a lot of virtual options that either popped up or became much, much more popular. Even in my community. We started hosting. Zoom work togethers. We used to meet in the chat. Space and we still do. On occasion, but I had it, the feature of working together in a zoom room because people quite frankly needed that reinforcement of another person, even if it was in a virtual square, on a screen. Thousands of miles away. There are a lot of options where you can sign up free and paid for virtual coworking or body doubling sessions.
One of the most popular ones is focus mate, and I'll put all of these links in the show notes. You can have a couple of free sessions a week, but you can also pay for a membership. This is where you basically sign up for an appointment slot with somebody else. You both have your camera's on, or your Mike's on, depending on the settings that you pick. You check in at the beginning of an hour or however long, the session is you check out at the end and then you have that visual reinforcement. Zoom work togethers work much in the same way.
Sometimes they're ad hoc. Sometimes they're scheduled. Like they are in my community. There are things like flow club, which market, especially to people with ADHD and other executive function, things that are happening. And then there's even a genre of YouTube videos, Tik, TOK, streams, and all sorts of live. Happenings on the internet that are called kind of study with me videos. Somebody sets up a camera on a tripod.
You usually can't see their face, but you can see them taking notes. Sometimes they go along with a Pomodoro system and sometimes they don't, but those can be really fun. I have a particular person that I like that studies in a library, and I like to watch the light change out the window as they're studying.
And I am too. You can also do all of this body doubling in person. If that's something that's safe for you for your immune system. And you have a good set of ventilation. So in person options, look a lot like working in a library or working in a coffee shop we're meeting a friend and deciding to work together in a specific space, even if you're not going to talk about it. These can be harder to arrange sometimes.
And of course there are barriers for lots of us for meeting in person, but. When in doubt, it can always be a little bit of a boost to go somewhere different where people will also be on a task, even if it's not your exact task to help get something done.
The reasons that this works. Our number one, the intentionality of these sessions. You have to go to a coffee shop on purpose. You have to sign into a focus mate on purpose. It's a start, it's an end. It has a little bit of temporal distinction to it. And that can be really effective. Number two are the gentle reminders to stay on task that aren't someone waving their finger in your face. Having you stay on task.
It's a much less activating way to provide yourself some structure and perhaps not get quite as much of an adrenaline nervous kick around it. And number three, they're really great for straight up scheduling. I love them because they break up my day. And I know that if I have a work together at 11, like I do the day that I'm recording this. That I have some reasons to get things done because something is going to happen at that time.
I know that even if my morning gets off track, I have a session scheduled for 11. I'll be there, there will be other people working. I'll be able to focus again, or at least I'll give myself a really decent chance to try.
You should also know the body doubling. Isn't perfect though. And one thing that can happen and happen to a lot of us, I would say probably 18 months, two years into the pandemic is that some of the novelty wears off. You are in your 1000th and 400 work together session. Your 1000 focus mate. And some of the magic doesn't quite hit like it did the first time novelty seeking is real.
It's not anything to be ashamed of. And I encourage you to switch modalities. Sometimes if you're used to working in a specific virtual option, try something else, maybe switch it up with something in person. The choices are endless, but if you're finding that the sparkle isn't quite there try changing an element of it. The other thing to know is that sometimes you can lose the sense of consequences.
So if you go to the coffee shop, for instance, or if you go to a work together and you say at the beginning, or you say to a friend, or you set out in your planner to say, read this article and instead. You go shopping online for whatever you would like to go shopping and nothing bad happens. It's sometimes can trick your brain into thinking that this isn't an effective tool. First of all, it might not be an effective tool for you.
Not every tool is for everyone, but it can also. I have the same effect is kind of missing an internal deadline. You think it's going to work? You realize that it doesn't because you blow past it. There's no real sense of consequence. And then it gets a little bit easier next time to noodle around. If that happens, I do suggest taking a break from some of these tools, trying something else. And maybe coming back to it just in case that. It works for you in a different season, in a different frame of mind, in a different location. Like I said, I host work togethers every weekday in my community, which you can join for $5 a month.
And there are lots of free opportunities to do work togethers all around the internet. So I encourage you to find some groups, start somebody doubling and see what it does for you. See you next week.
📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com. Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show. Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!