3.13 so your advisor sucks. now what?
so, you've realized that your advisor doesn't meet all your needs - now what?
this podcast has three steps to help you move through the sticky feelings when this important relationship doesn't feel aligned, and how to move through that.
make sure you check out the first episode of season three, building a team of mentors, for practical steps to keep this process going!
Sign up for AcWriMo 2023 here - a month of completely FREE resources to support your academic writing! And from now until December 11, take 15% off everything in the Thrive PhD store - no code needed! It's just my way of saying thank you for an awesome year!
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A juicy one this week. Let's talk about what happens when your advisor sucks.
📍 Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar.
And in season three, I'm demystifying some of the most important, but often invisible parts of grad school that learning about might just make your life a little bit easier. And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it
One of the truth is truths about grad student supervision is that very, very few people are explicitly trained in it. So faculty members get jobs, bring on students and then have no real sense of how to mentor a student other than how they themselves were mentored. So many students find themselves with a supervisor or a mentor or a PI who doesn't fit their needs. But once you realized that an advisor, isn't what you need, or at least all of what you need. Then what. I've got three steps today that you can take to work with this issue.
It's the most frequent one that I get when I am working with new clients. And I think it's important to talk about it because often there are not as many choices as we would like, but there are often more choices than you think. So. Here are three things that you can do. Step one. Except that it isn't fair.
And that this is a systemic issue. This is an important step because most graduate students, I know working with supervisors that are not good fits, internalize that fact on some level. They work harder to try and please an unpleasable critic. They hide their diverse career plans because they sense that they won't be supported.
They take advice that they know doesn't fit their values or their life or their brain, because it seems disrespectful or sneaky to ask for a second opinion. If your advisor only reads the work of the person in your lab who was on Dr. Graduate, that's not a fair system. You all deserve feedback. If you worry about your funding disappearing, if you reveal something about your personal life or your future. Plans that isn't fair.
It doesn't have any real bearing. The work that you're doing in the degree. These issues are pervasive and they often have everything to do with how the supervisor understands their role and little to do with the individual student. It isn't fair. It sucks. It actively hurts graduate students, and more than likely you didn't do or say anything to cause the situation. Now, of course, this isn't to put all the blame on individual advisors either. When you produce exponentially more PhDs than there are available tenure track jobs, it fundamentally changes the purpose of the degree and mentorship.
And a lot of ways has had to change along with that. And few supervisors are trained in how to support students through a degree that looks nothing like the one they received. This is an academia wide issue.
Step two. Identify what you need. So once you've accepted that your advisor isn't supporting you and all the ways that you need to be supported, it's tempting to generalize. They're just a terrible advisor. And there's nothing that I can do about it. But often digging through to a more nuanced understanding can be really helpful. Maybe they're extremely careful readers of your writing, but they don't really know how to support your career plans. Maybe they're incredibly supportive of your health and allowing you to build a flexible work structure, but there's also no apparatus in place to make sure you actually graduate when you want to.
And you're on target. Dig in and find out what areas really need support. You're a graduate student experience, this complex. It needs to be supported in a lot of different areas. The more you understand where you need the support, the easier it's going to be to find it.
Step three. Empower yourself to get the help that you need. It is so hard to say. This isn't working and I need more help. But if you can get to a point where you want to do while in grad school and beyond.
If you can get to a point where you want to do grad school. If you can get to a point where you want to do well in grad school, and you want that more than you ever want to never need help. It becomes easier to ask for the support that you need. Ultimately, unless your advisor's magical unicorn. You will not, you will need additional support that they can not give. This is especially true because only you can zoom out and see the entire picture of your life. Only, you know, where you want to be in five or 10 years and what things are incredibly hard for you to achieve or what your health and wellness is.
It's so hard to remember that everyone is trying to keep up a perfect image for the eventual job market, but actually the number one goal on grad school is to complete the degree. Not to complete the degree without needing any support from anyone ever. So if the goal is to complete the work. Why not ask for things that will help make it easier. Why not build up a team of mentors, support, and resources that you need to get, where you want to go in the way that makes the most sense for your life. Now, these team of mentors look really different for different people.
For me, my team was my advisor a little bit, my committee, a little bit more. And then I network of people around campus and off of it that helps support me. As a whole person. I had people who supported my career ambitions. I had people that I talk to about my health. I had colleagues that worked with me about my writing.
I had people in other departments that brainstormed and taught. Different classes with me. I had people all over and ultimately what I felt like was this huge downside to my experience. That my advisor wasn't great. And that I needed more support ended up being one of the most valuable things about my PhD experience, because I had these relationships with more people
I had such a richer network than some of my other colleagues did because I had gone beyond the two or three people that I was basically assigned. Those people in my network are the ones that help me get jobs. They're the ones that helped me through tough situations and they allowed me to have a lot more power in my PhD journey.
It would be great if academia were a system that was inclusive, where support was offered freely in a diversity of goals and experiences were anticipated in plan for. There are a lot of us who are making. A lot of effort. To make that happen. But until then the biggest danger is not actually bad advisors. The biggest danger to graduate students is your belief that your entire fate and future rests in one person or a few people's hands. It doesn't. Working to support yourself so that you can do your best work is a skill that's going to pay off forever.
And now it's a good time to start. I hope that this gave you at least a little bit of normalization around the idea that you can still have an advisor. Who's not a perfect fit. Or somebody who's really great. And still isn't what you need in a specific moment and do well in grad school. It's so hard. To feel stuck and to say, okay, I need something.
And this person isn't giving it to me. But knowing that there are benefits to creating a network and that we learned so much about ourselves identifying what we need, figuring out where to find it and applying it. Can really help make the difference between this is something that I have to do because this person is so terrible. Into, even in the best case scenario, I would want to do this because it has a lot of benefits. Just a quick note that the once a year thrive, PhD sale is still going on now through December 11th.
So make sure you click the link in the bio. 15% off everything in the store. No special code needed. I hope that this short and sweet episode gave you a little bit of space to think about your world. And your advisor. And I can't wait to see you next week. Bye.
📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com. Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show. Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!
3.12 yeah but is it sustainable? - danger signs in your scheduling
i talk a lot about sustainability - but how do you know if you're working with a sustainable schedule? i give my top warning signs that your schedule will eventually bury you alive, and even better, ways to build in some flexibility and space in this week's episode! get into it!
I am giving away one FREE 45 minute session with me a month to anyone who reviews this podcast on Apple Podcasts! Leave a review and I'll announce the winners in the last episode of the month, and in my newsletter! Thank you so much for helping to spread the word about the podcast! And if you are user JLB332, you won this month's free session! Email to claim!
Sign up for AcWriMo 2023 here - a month of completely FREE resources to support your academic writing! And from now until December 11, take 15% off everything in the Thrive PhD store - no code needed! It's just my way of saying thank you for an awesome year!
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I talk a lot about sustainability, but if you've ever wondered what that means and how to know if your schedule is sustainable. This is the episode for. for. you. Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar.
And in season three, I'm demystifying some of the most important, but often invisible parts of grad school that learning about might just make your life a little bit easier. And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it
It's basically thrive PhD legend at this point, but low, many moons ago as an anxious PhD student. I came into my therapist office with the schedule for the next two weeks. Uh, down to the 15 minute level of detailed. It was color-coded it was beautifully printed. I'm so happy about it. I wish I had a picture to show you, but then again, I'm also kind of clear that I don't. I was so proud because I had scheduled in at least six hours of sleep at night. One hour of working out a few days a week and was convinced that if I just stuck to the schedule, everything. Everything would be fine. At the time I was trying to get married in the same week that I was defending my comprehensive exams. And when I wasn't studying, I was planning and trying to mentally navigate all that comes along with being legally. And otherwise. Bound to another human. But I could just do it.
If I kept to the schedule, it would all work and I would feel no stress about any of these things. This was the plan anyway. My therapist at the time. Bless her. Looked at me and said, but what if they're sTraffic. And right there in her office, I burst into tears because my schedule was only workable.
If nothing unexpected happen. And even the suggestion of 10 minutes of traffic. I was enough to open up the flood gates of worry and fear and stress and anxiety. Full disclosure. I'm still working on a lot of the same lessons that I was on that day. And I still do make pretty detailed schedules for myself. But I have learned a lot. About sustainability in the meantime. And how to tell if you're working with a schedule that is, or isn't sustainable. Schedules are great. Their plans with a time associated and they can be such great tools and helping you see what you need to adjust to meet certain goals. But they can also crush you if they're built on premises, that just can't be maintained over time.
Here. Here are some of the telltale signs that you're working with, a schedule that isn't sustainable. Over the longterm. And please believe me, grad school is long-term and you need a schedule that addresses that. So here are. Those signs. Number one, it doesn't account for human functions. Your schedule like sleep. Or movement or eating or cleaning your space. Warning sign number two. It requires everyone else to adhere to it perfectly.
And the more people that includes the less sustainable, it probably is. If your entire schedule rests on your advisor being on time and prepared for your meetings. Are your students not having questions after the class, then it's probably not as sustainable as you think it is.
Warning sign number three. If you find yourself playing catch up on a frequent. Or even regular basis to stay somewhat close to the schedule. It's probably. Not as sustainable.
Warning sign number four. It doesn't have any flexibility without massive restructuring. That is how much would you really need, need to redo that schedule? If you got sick for two days? If you would have to trash the whole thing, it probably isn't. Is ironclad and sustainable as you want it to be.
Next morning sign.
It doesn't have rest days or even rest times.
Second to last. It only addresses the immediate concerns or projects on your plate. And doesn't have anything that helps support long-term projects or things that are important, but just not urgent or do right now. And last but not least. The warning sign that I find almost everybody's schedule is hitting.
It doesn't have any time or very, very limited time to connect with family, friends, loved ones, communities, other interests, or just time for fun. More generally. If any of those warning signs. Made you sit up. And think, wow. Maybe things aren't as sustainable as I thought. Well, I have some good news for you. But first a little caveat. There are, of course, certain times during your grad school journey, like the two weeks before you turn in your draft to your committee or the week of your exam, that sustainability is less of a concern. But if you can always find a reason why you need to push past your limits. Then it might be time to examine your schedule and those things that make you believe. That you're only truly working if you're going above and beyond the limits of your life.
And now because I'm not a monster. Here are my most potent ways to add in some space and flexibility to get a schedule that will keep you on track. Without necessarily endangering your health. Okay. Tip number one. Make sure that you have days off scheduled. I personally. Like a half day, weekday admin hard-stop at 8:00 PM. And at least one weekend day, fully off as my rhythm. Wednesday mornings.
I'm usually pretty tired. So it's a good time for me to clean run errands book, all my doctor's appointments or whatever else I need to do. That's outside of the house. And then I get a little bit of a break during the week. Maybe you do six days a week, but you're off at 2:00 PM. Or maybe you do two days on one day off in a cycle because weekends are just a construct. As long as there are off days or off periods already scheduled, it's really going to help your sustainability.
Tip number two. Consider adding in some buffer time before big deadlines. Is that chapter due to your adviser? January 1st. Right out all of your milestone days and your schedule so that you quote unquote finish. Say December 23rd, and then you have a little bit of time to play with, if things get off track. If your project has collaborators like co-authors or outside sources of data or specialized software. Or anything that makes it more complicated. Please, please definitely put in some of that flex time. Even if you don't need it, you'll be glad you had it.
Tip number three.
Think about buffer blocks during the week. I have a few hours on Tuesdays and Friday afternoons. That I don't schedule anything. And I use those hours to catch up on all of the things that invariably need to be caught up on having unscheduled time means that I don't have to take that time out of my regular schedule. It's a game changer.
If you've never tried it. I find it so helpful for dealing with those last minute email requests, because now I can say, Hey, this wasn't on my plate for this week, but I will have some time on Friday afternoon. And I'll try and look at it,
it helps so much. And last but not least. Ask for help. As a person from work who works from home. I assume that it was part of the deal that I would do most of the chores, all the grocery shopping errands and other household stuff. And of course, all of that adds up. It turns out that when I made that assumption, I was unwittingly depriving my husband of going to the grocery store, which weirdly he loves.
And I hate. So when I asked for some help, keeping up with things, he gladly took that on. Help comes in many places, but if we start, always start from the premise of, if I think about it, then I must be in charge of doing it. Well, a lot ends up on your list that maybe doesn't need to be there.
All of this is a way of saying I work hard.
You work hard. But there's a difference between showing up to put in the work and then taking the rest of the time to take care of yourself. And do all of the other human things. And working so hard that you crash and need to recover in a cycle that repeats. If not endlessly, pretty close to it. Work hard. Rest hard. Work hard. Work smart and do the rest too, but try not to fall into, or at least try not to stay in the trap of thinking that only an inhuman schedule. Of perfect productivity.
We'll get you to the finish line. Well, rested well cared for humans. Get a surprising amount of work done in a much smaller amount of time. Let yourself experiment with some of these sustainability practices and see for yourself.
And last but not least a tiny little announcement. There is the once a year thrive PhD sale going on now through December 11th. If you're listening to this episode of close to one, it releases. Check out the store. Everything is 15% off. No code needed. It's my way of saying thank you for everything you do for thrive PhD. See you next week.
📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com. Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show. Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!
3.11 get some distance - make your writing strange so you can revise it
have you ever looked at a word so long that it ceased to have any meaning? has that ever happened to you on the scale of a paragraph, paper, or diss chapter? this week's episode has a variety of resources and strategies to help you make your writing "strange" - to get some distance from it so you can see it clearly. there isn't always someone else around to read our writing - or time for them to do so even if there was - so these tools can come in handy for all of us!
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What if you need a fresh set of eyes on your writing, but the only eyes around or your own. Let's talk about self editing this week on.
📍 Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar.
And in season three, I'm demystifying some of the most important, but often invisible parts of grad school that learning about might just make your life a little bit easier. And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it
Have you ever looked at a word so frequently that it ceased to lose any meaning? This sometimes happens to me when I'm writing a lot about the same topic and there's actually a name for it. It's called semantic satiation. It means you're literally so full of seeing that word, that it doesn't make sense anymore. And if you've never had that experience feel free to write the word spoon over and over again, or say it over and over again.
And I promise you that. Rapidly enough, you will reach the point of semantic satiation. This is a phenomenon that happens on small scales, but I also think that it's a larger metaphor for what can happen to a lot of us when we are working on the same project over the course of weeks. Days months, years. We become saturated by it. And what happens when you need to do something like revise or proofread or give something another pass and you don't have another person available to do that. It would be great if we all had easy access to supportive supervisors, amazing writing groups. Editors. Software to do this kind of workforce, but a lot of times it's you, that needs to be working on your writing.
So today let's talk about how to make your own writing, strange to you. So that you can overcome that sense of feeling full up with it and get a little bit of perspective to hopefully move it forward. I'm going to share a bunch of strategies. So might work for you. Some might not some require various pieces of software or equipment, but a lot of them can be done for free. Just with what you have hanging around. So the first tool that can be really helpful is dictation or having something read aloud back to you. I know that when I am particularly stuck with my writing and I just can't stand to look at that document anymore, I will often open up a dictation window. Whether that is through something like Otter or the word processing. Dictation tools that are coming. More and more evolved every day. And I just talk, I talk it out and it's not a perfect transcript.
It certainly requires some editing, but it absolutely helps to bring a little bit of freshness into what I'm working on. Move me out of a sticky spot more often than not. You can also have your writing be read back to you. There are all sorts of apps and extensions. More. Then it makes sense for me to list out here on this podcast, but it can be really helpful to have to hear your writing, being read back to you.
If that's something that's successful to you. So I know that when I listened to my own writing, being read back without looking at it, I catch all sorts of things. Like the phrases that I use at the top of every paragraph or my in. Or my predilection to use some of the same pieces of vocabulary and sentence structures to the point where they become repetitive and almost silly sounding. I catch. The repetition of ideas.
I catch places where at my logic jumps and bonus, it usually gives me a little bit of rest from the eyestrain that I can feel scrolling up and down a really large document.
Speaking of scrolling up and down or really large document. If you work visually on a computer, then it can be very, very helpful to change the way that your writing looks to you on a visual level. This is because our brains become accustomed to seeing certain words, certain places at the same time. So, if you've been working on a document for say, weeks or months, your brain kind of has storage shortcuts and it makes it really hard to catch things like typos or repetition, because you're so used to seeing it. There's a lot of different ways that you can change it visually. The classic is to print it out. We'll look at it on a different medium.
I love to actually go one step further change locations, even if it's just to another side of my desk to look at it in a completely different form. However, not all of us are members of the class where we have access or even the capability to print out huge long documents. So you can also go into your word processing program and change the font. I recommend that you pick something relatively obnoxious and definitely a big change from whatever font that you traditionally drafted, the reason is because if you change the size and you change the way that the actual letters look, it's going to give you more of that sense of newness and freshness.
And then bonus, you can actually start to change that font back to whatever the standard is. And it gives you a very quick visual reference as to what pieces of the writing. Have been looked over and what pieces haven't yet. I know that if I use a font that I do not find appealing, it actually encourages me to move through some of these revision stages.
Just that much faster to get rid of that ugly font on my screen.
Any of these tools though, rely on a somewhat dramatic change to give you some space between how you're used to working with your writing as it's in progress and how you want to encounter it in this new fresher writing session.
Like I mentioned changing location can be really helpful. I know that for me. It was really useful to go to the library every so often and work on a piece of writing there that big change. Even if it didn't involve any other interventions, brought a little bit of freshness to it, but the gold standard for all of these is to actually let your writing rest. Now. I'm was a grad student.
I work with grad students. I know that there are often situations where you do not have a lot of time in between when you've drafted something. And when it needs to go out to its next stage, say an advisor check or a supervisor meeting, or sometimes even to the editor or the college to submit it. So the amount of time and space that you can give yourself between writing sessions is going to vary greatly, but. Any amount of rest that you can give certain sections of your writing is going to help. So say you are in a big deadline crunch to submit a big chapter to your supervisor by the end of the week. I recommend. Chunking it up and picking parts of that chapter. To work on at various different points so that you're alternating and moving through the document, as opposed to going over and over again, the same. Piece that you've been looking at.
This does give you a little bit of distance. It might not be you know, two weeks to come back, completely bright eyed and bushy tailed, and ready to look at that piece of writing again, but even the space of a couple of hours. I can give you a little bit more of a different perspective. That can help you catch some of the things that the revision process is meant to catch.
Writing, especially academic writing.
The further that you get into your career. Needs more and more work after the initial drafting stage. I know how frustrating it was for me as an undergrad student, because I would write my papers and I'm not proud of this, but I am honest about it. I would write my papers the night before, if not the morning of depending on how much I cared about the class and how well prepared I was. And it was a big shock for me when I reached the next levels of my writing, where I simply could not write a pretty solid draft the night before and turn it in. At least not without doing some serious harm to my body. Or, you know, just not meeting the bar that was expected of me in this new stage.
So learning how to revise was not at all a straightforward process, but some of these steps really helped me be able to come back to my writing with a little bit of freshness, a little bit of perspective, and that made all the difference. If you are looking for more support with your academic writing, november is ACC. Rye Mo which despite being a very difficult word to say is actually one of my favorite times a year. I share all sorts of free resources through my newsletter and you can sign up absolutely for free at any point during this month. Using the link in my show notes. Thank you so much, and I will see you next week.
📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com. Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show. Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!
3.10 gentle accountability - body doubling
have you ever noticed that when you work in a library or a coffeeshop, or do chores with your housemates, that you get more done? that magic (if it isn't caffeine) is called body doubling. this week's episode is all about this gentler accountability tool, where you can practice it virtually and in person, and when it might not work for you!
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my community (join for just $5/month!)
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If you've ever wondered why you get so much more work done in a coffee shop, a library, or when you're working with friends. This is the episode for Are you.
📍 Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar.
And in season three, I'm demystifying some of the most important, but often invisible parts of grad school that learning about might just make your life a little bit easier. And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it
This week's episode is all about body doubling, which is a technique that you've probably tried. Even if you weren't aware that that's what it's called. Body doubling just means that you're doing some sort of work in the presence of another person. This can be like when you and a housemate or partners say, okay, I'll split up and you take the kitchen and I will clean up the bedroom. Or when you're working in a coffee shop and you're surrounded by people that are working. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are working together in a formal way. It's that your body is literally doubled or tripled or quadrupled, whatever the case may be by other bodies that are doing a similar sort of task. The reason that this is so effective is because it's a constant continual reminder that you're meant to be doing something. Meant to be staying on task without those reminders necessarily being verbal or some sort of other. External alarm or feature. This. Means that body doubling is a little bit more gentle. You look up, you remember you're in a coffee shop, you see other people working and almost on a subconscious level, you get back to work.
It's a little bit easier to focus. It's the difference between. I'm trying to keep yourself on task alone in a room and trying to keep yourself on task when other people are on task too. It's probably why a lot of people find exams to be really helpful because they're sitting in a room with a bunch of other people, also focused.
They'll feel different if they are staring out the window or surfing on their phone or getting up and walking around, it's a gentle nonverbal reminder that you're meant to be on task. This can be helpful for lots of people. I might even go as far as to say that it's helpful for most people. But it's especially helpful for people with ADHD or who are otherwise working with some executive function difficulties.
If you've never heard the term executive function before, it's basically the conductor in your brain. That gets all of the parts of you, your body, your nervous system, your thoughts, your conscious mind, all of it on track. It's kind of like a conductor of an orchestra getting everything there. And if that conductor is taking a break or is somehow interested in another. Task then it can feel really difficult to get all of the pieces of assistant moving that's executive function.
And if it's not working the way that it's supposed to. Then you're going to notice a big difference.
Now that you're on board with what body doubling actually is. Let's talk about some different ways that you might incorporate it into your day. During the pandemic or at least the first acute wave of the pandemic, lots and lots of people found it so difficult to work from home. And of course there were a thousand cultural and historical reasons why it was difficult to work at home, but a big one. Was that their spaces weren't set up and they had a real lack of body doubling. If you're used to studying exclusively in the library, and then all of a sudden, you're also supposed to be on your couch, trying to study while people in your house maybe are walking around or doing a thousand other things, it's going to be a lot more difficult to keep yourself on track.
So. During that first wave of the pandemic, there were a lot of virtual options that either popped up or became much, much more popular. Even in my community. We started hosting. Zoom work togethers. We used to meet in the chat. Space and we still do. On occasion, but I had it, the feature of working together in a zoom room because people quite frankly needed that reinforcement of another person, even if it was in a virtual square, on a screen. Thousands of miles away. There are a lot of options where you can sign up free and paid for virtual coworking or body doubling sessions.
One of the most popular ones is focus mate, and I'll put all of these links in the show notes. You can have a couple of free sessions a week, but you can also pay for a membership. This is where you basically sign up for an appointment slot with somebody else. You both have your camera's on, or your Mike's on, depending on the settings that you pick. You check in at the beginning of an hour or however long, the session is you check out at the end and then you have that visual reinforcement. Zoom work togethers work much in the same way.
Sometimes they're ad hoc. Sometimes they're scheduled. Like they are in my community. There are things like flow club, which market, especially to people with ADHD and other executive function, things that are happening. And then there's even a genre of YouTube videos, Tik, TOK, streams, and all sorts of live. Happenings on the internet that are called kind of study with me videos. Somebody sets up a camera on a tripod.
You usually can't see their face, but you can see them taking notes. Sometimes they go along with a Pomodoro system and sometimes they don't, but those can be really fun. I have a particular person that I like that studies in a library, and I like to watch the light change out the window as they're studying.
And I am too. You can also do all of this body doubling in person. If that's something that's safe for you for your immune system. And you have a good set of ventilation. So in person options, look a lot like working in a library or working in a coffee shop we're meeting a friend and deciding to work together in a specific space, even if you're not going to talk about it. These can be harder to arrange sometimes.
And of course there are barriers for lots of us for meeting in person, but. When in doubt, it can always be a little bit of a boost to go somewhere different where people will also be on a task, even if it's not your exact task to help get something done.
The reasons that this works. Our number one, the intentionality of these sessions. You have to go to a coffee shop on purpose. You have to sign into a focus mate on purpose. It's a start, it's an end. It has a little bit of temporal distinction to it. And that can be really effective. Number two are the gentle reminders to stay on task that aren't someone waving their finger in your face. Having you stay on task.
It's a much less activating way to provide yourself some structure and perhaps not get quite as much of an adrenaline nervous kick around it. And number three, they're really great for straight up scheduling. I love them because they break up my day. And I know that if I have a work together at 11, like I do the day that I'm recording this. That I have some reasons to get things done because something is going to happen at that time.
I know that even if my morning gets off track, I have a session scheduled for 11. I'll be there, there will be other people working. I'll be able to focus again, or at least I'll give myself a really decent chance to try.
You should also know the body doubling. Isn't perfect though. And one thing that can happen and happen to a lot of us, I would say probably 18 months, two years into the pandemic is that some of the novelty wears off. You are in your 1000th and 400 work together session. Your 1000 focus mate. And some of the magic doesn't quite hit like it did the first time novelty seeking is real.
It's not anything to be ashamed of. And I encourage you to switch modalities. Sometimes if you're used to working in a specific virtual option, try something else, maybe switch it up with something in person. The choices are endless, but if you're finding that the sparkle isn't quite there try changing an element of it. The other thing to know is that sometimes you can lose the sense of consequences.
So if you go to the coffee shop, for instance, or if you go to a work together and you say at the beginning, or you say to a friend, or you set out in your planner to say, read this article and instead. You go shopping online for whatever you would like to go shopping and nothing bad happens. It's sometimes can trick your brain into thinking that this isn't an effective tool. First of all, it might not be an effective tool for you.
Not every tool is for everyone, but it can also. I have the same effect is kind of missing an internal deadline. You think it's going to work? You realize that it doesn't because you blow past it. There's no real sense of consequence. And then it gets a little bit easier next time to noodle around. If that happens, I do suggest taking a break from some of these tools, trying something else. And maybe coming back to it just in case that. It works for you in a different season, in a different frame of mind, in a different location. Like I said, I host work togethers every weekday in my community, which you can join for $5 a month.
And there are lots of free opportunities to do work togethers all around the internet. So I encourage you to find some groups, start somebody doubling and see what it does for you. See you next week.
📍 Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com. Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show. Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!