things that are helping me right now

in case you need to hear it:

i’ve been working from home for almost four years now and these have been some of the hardest weeks of my WFH career. of course they are. if this were just about “how to set up and efficiently and effectively work from home” then we would all just get dual monitors and set up our standing desks and make zoom backgrounds and that would be it.

but, i am finding a few things that are really helpful for me right now - not in the “here are 10 work from home tips” that your university PR team sends out kind of way, but in the “i’m a human and i’m in the world and i’m bouncing between trauma-response numbness, sheer panic, and bone-deep exhaustion” kind of way. hopefully there are a few useful things for you to experiment with!

  • keeping a really big bottle of water on my desk - i’m tired, everyone is tired, but i fell into a caffeine crash cycle early on and i’m still recovering. a big bottle of water on my desk makes it a little easier to balance that coffee with something a little easier on the adrenals.

  • jotting down a few ideas for lunch when i plan my day - feeding myself is not the most straightforward task in the best of times, but with my hunger response dulled because of stress (or on total overdrive), it’s been bananas. making a plan for a few things i could eat for lunch helps take some of the stress out of that decision and makes it less likely that i will just eat chips.

  • starting my day with a brain dump - morning pages have been a staple, on and off, of my morning routine for years, but they’re back in a big way right now. i get up, and i just type (sorry longhand fans, i am far more likely to do it if i can type!) and i just type until my brain feels a little emptier. it prevents me from spewing a bunch of that anxiety all over the other people in my life, and gives me a place to be not okay if i need it.

  • ending my day on purpose - i’m using this routine here to shut down my day on purpose and it’s a lifesaver. i am 100% more likely to put off getting started in the morning if my workspace is a mess, and this also allows me a litle bit of decompression time before i transition into the non work parts of my life.

  • ritualizing transitions - when all of your life is happening in the same space, it can be really hard for your body and mind to know where and when it is in time and space. so i’ve been trying to really make it clear when i’m switching from one mode to another. i use the same start up routine, i use the same shut down routine, and i try hard to take my lunch break away from my desk. i even change from my “work clothes” (yoga pants and a sweatshirt, maybe overalls if i’m feeling fancy, i’m not a monster) to my “comfy cozers” after dinner to make it really clear that i’m doing something different now. showering can also help mark transitions. you can also experiment with open and closing blinds, using playlists or types of music, or if you have a little space, working in different areas throughout the day.

  • checking in about social connection - i’m an introvert, so at first i thought that being home would be a dream come true. but then my calendar started filling up with tons of meetings, social zoom calls, text messages, family check ins, and i went for ten days without any real quiet recharge time. now i’m trying to be more conscious about how and when i schedule social time, such as it is, and making sure that i get enough sleep, and alone time, to charge up.

  • easing up on monthly and quarterly planning - i LOVE planning but right now, a week out is the farthest i can really go. too much is changing, and i was spending way too much time making two and three month plans only to have all the conditions change. i’m working on all the same milestones and goals, but i’ve let go of some of the due dates. instead, i’m using more of a progress report model; at the end of every day, and at the end of the week, i check in with all my open projects, review what i’ve done, and make plans for the next day or week. what’s important is the progress, not the deadline.

  • “what feels possible” as a grounding question - sometimes, i sit down at my desk and i can’t handle the idea of working. just can’t for one second stomach the idea of it. so the question i come back to, again and again is “what feels possible?” and then i really listen to myself for the answer. if it doesn’t feel possible to do what i set out to, then i try and get curious about what else feels like it’s within my grasp. sometimes it’s cleaning bathrooms, or making a meal planning list, or cleaning out my downloads folder. sometimes, it’s something on the list, just not the first thing. but instead of asking “why don’t you feel like doing this”, “what feels possible” makes me feel seen and validated AND opens up the possibility that there is something i feel like i can do, even if that thing is stardew valley.

time for new rules.

grief and academia

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